I saw something on television Sunday that disgusted me. I'm not talking the sort of disgust that is unoriginal Carlos Mencia comedy or the way the Florida Panthers play the neutral zone trap, but the sort of disgust that makes your stomach turn and your brain hurt.
Implored by several friends to give Mixed Martial Arts another chance, I did so twice this weekend. On Saturday, as was well-documented by Jeremy White in his blog, I saw a series of boring, sloppy fights that involved garbage calf kicks and accidental eye gouges resembling the lovechild of "The Three Stooges" and a sixth-grade girls gym class brawl. The ill-founded idea that UFC turned down the first national broadcast because of the money they make on pay-per-views -- with the national growth and integrity of the sport on the line -- is another topic for another day.
Sunday's WEC fights on Versus were an entirely different story.
Before I explain, I need you to click on this picture. Don't read any more until you look at that picture, and look at it again. What it is Chuck Grigsby, basically unconscious, getting punched in the head. Two or three times. The referee's job is to get in there at the first sign of severe danger, but pardon me for thinking the first punch to the face when you're already knocked out could kill you.
There are several well-made points to get into before I go any further:
1) Grigsby was in there of his own volition, with knowledge of possible consequences.
2) There are safety measures implemented that should prevent this from happening.
3) Mixed martial arts takes athleticism that is equal parts astounding and athletic.
4) I love fighting in hockey, and I like a good boxing match (which doesn't happen too often anymore, considering John Duddy and Julio Cesar Chavez, Jr., are about the only entertaining boxers I've seen since De La Hoya/Mayweather, which was a defensive fight, anyway).
So there's your bait, fight fans. Here comes the rebuttal.
I'd sacrifice televised boxing to eliminate the broadcast of combat-styled mixed martial arts. I know that martial arts is "the art of war," and that it isn't all about the discipline and self-defense I appreciate. What that picture of Grigsby illustrates is that actual "face-punching" fighting isn't the street fight between Tommy Gunn and Rocky in "Rocky V," it's more like Tyler Durden on Jared Leto in "Fight Club" -- remarkably dangerous.
As a guy who's had plenty of concussions playing ice hockey and soccer -- insert jokes here -- I'd at least like to see further safety issues implemented, including helmets above all. Same goes for boxing. It would hurt the sport, the same way that many folks skip out on Olympic boxing. For some reason, the theater of human destruction is the single-most enjoyable aspect of hand-to-hand combat.
I know it's not for kids, and it's aired in places to keep kids away from it. I also know that you never saw an R-rated movie your parents didn't want you to see. The point is, I'd rather not see kids looking to grow into fame and fortune by how well they can make someone submit. I won't make too many "Little League MMA" jokes, because I want to stay relatively serious, but cauliflower ear doesn't look too hot at the eighth-grade cotillion.
I'm not a baby, naive, or a wuss. I've been in plenty of scraps in my time, for better or for worse, but it's something I've grown out of, at least away from the ice (I'm still trying, Mom). I go to the gym, play sports all the time, and am generally interested in learning the discipline of martial arts. I am completely secure in my American male masculinity. This is just too much for me, and I think I speak for many. So continue to be entertained, and enjoy both the tactical and the grotesque, but count me out. I'll limit myself to "The Karate Kid" and Olympic judo.
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